The Girl Lives in the Apartment Right Above Me
The girl lives in the apartment right above me
Her grace and elegance astounds me
I feel her energy all around me
My friends would kill me if they found me
Loving her, the way she might love me
These so called friends call me a traitor
Like I was Alfalfa and they were the He Man Woman Haters
I wish we could sip some vine while listening to Cal TJader
As we discuss the presidential merits of one Ralph Nader
I would spin and weave like an Olympic skater
With the intensity of an Oakland Raider
And drop my voice low like Darth Vader
While she sits so demure like Catherine Zeta…….Jones
Hip as the Rolling Stones
Checking my cahones
Then leaving me alone
To go and use my telephone
I sit in quiet contemplation
Of this crazy situation
Does she even know that I exist
No wonder my friends are so pissed
Like the boy whose never been kissed
I’m feeling kind of dissed
I dream of meeting her mater and pater
Or eating a potata
At her families seder
First night of course
My Yiddish tour de force
Showing proper remorse
Over her dead uncles corpse
Sit Shiva in IJ Morris
Next to her cousin Doris
Married to a florist
A goyem named Forrest
All this fantasy and more
From seeing a Mezuzah on her door
Shit I’d even convert
Just to win her heart
Her nipples are so pert
I know we’d never part
Although I’m just a waiter
Who vacations in Granada
I’d really like to date her
A True Romancer like Christian Slater
Rundown as follows
Her nose perfect
Her eyes greenish
Her skin unblemished
Her body teenish
She wears high heels all day
Walks around with them at night
You know I can hear her bro
I have not had the tv or cd on in over a year yo
Let me stop right here
And be polite
Before my Calvin’s ignite
The girl that lives in the apartment right above me